Friday, January 28, 2011

First Duty Station

so, today I found out Hunter's first duty station. It is Whidbey Island, WA. He is of the VAQ-137 squadron, also known as "The Rooks" The ship they work with is the USS Enterprise (not going to lie I totally though otf Star Trek when I read that). He will be on base and then go out on deployments on the ship, though not sure when. His A school is just 17 days, and we are not sure if he gets his leave after. I really hope he does. For some reason finding out his Duty station just hit me really hard, like this isn't over after Boot Camp, in fact it's just the start. I mean Washington is great to start with, we'll shall see how long the deployments are on the ship, but it is still very far. Not sure how long he will be there or anything. Sometimes I still question why I am still doing this.  So far all it has seemed to do is cause me a lot of heartache. But, at the same time that should be a good sign, right? that I care about him that much and that's why this bothers me so much. Sigh...I honestly miss how things used to be, as much as long distance sucked, I could at least talk to him everyday. I really just want to hear his voice right now. I have just under a week till I see him at graduation and while so excited I know how difficult it will be to leave again. I feel like these twenty something hrs we get together are just going to be a tease, especially since I don't know when I will see him next. I am also getting so nervous for graduation. I don't know how he will be after all this. I just hope he's the same man that I fell in love with. His letters make me so sad, I look forward to them every week but then I get them and they are just sad. At this point all I can do is pray, that he is the same guy. I pray that him and I can get through this. The biggest question is if he stays just 4 yrs or he does a career...cause I know I cannot do this for career. I will find out over graduation weekend what he or me, and as much as I hate to put it like that but it's true. I also have to look out for myself, and raising a family with the dad always gone just does not work. I understand that he must do this now and I am so proud of him, just nervous about what the future will bring.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hi all!

So, I have decided to start a blog as I adjust to my current lifestyle as a military fiancee. I'm not exactly sure what I will say. I know some of it will be very upbeat and at other times quite sad. I feel that if I can somehow write out what I am feeling then maybe this whole process will get easier. Hunter is currently in bootcamp and graduates 2/4/11! I am so excited, 9 days until I get to see him. These past 9.5 weeks have been so hard. I have only received two phone calls and while I get letters once a week they are often not happy, since he to is struggling with adjusting to the military lifestyle. Hunter proposed to me over the phone on Jan. 3rd. Though I expect a proper proposal over graduation weekend :) I have realized in these last few months just how important he is to me. I also realize that I have to be independent and need to keep as focused as possible despite missing him. After his graduated he will spend only 17 days in A school and will then go to his first duty station or his first deployment. This absolutely terrifies me, especially since I don't know how the communication will be and I don't know when I will get to see him again. There are a lot of questions, but unfortunately the military offers little answers. A motto both Hunter and I use is "the military is all about hurry up and wait". Things can change so quick so I must learn to never expect anything, for that only leads to disappointment. Well, that's all I can write for now. I am sure I will post something just before and after graduation. Now I must study for my exams, yuck.